Meanwhile, on the Other Side...

This is my wedding bouquet. From left to right, they are my mother-in-law, my mom and my dad. They are on the Other Side but walked with me down the aisle.

When someone you love dies, the practical world keeps moving. The dishwasher hums. The emails arrive. The dog still needs to be walked.

And yet somewhere inside you are quiet, persistent questions:

Are they okay?

Where are they now?

Are they hovering? Resting? Busy? Bored?

Let’s imagine this without choirs, clouds, or dramatic lighting. We’ll consider possibilities that feel less Hollywood and more home movie. It’s not a full explanation of the Other Side (OS), but it may answer some of your questions. For this article, we are talking about humans. Your fur babies on the OS will be the topic of another article. 

Are they okay?

This is often the first question I get asked by someone wanting to connect with their Spirit peeps. They are more okay than they were as humans. They’re likely having the time of their life in the afterlife. They are free from illness, both physical and mental, as well as bills, work pressure and other things that make being human stressful. 

While they often keep their personality, they seem to lose the ability to hold onto negativity. If they were sarcastic or shy, they may still carry that part of themselves.They aren’t mad in general or with you. They don’t hate or hold grudges. They don’t judge.

Forgiveness might not even feel like a grand act. It might simply be clarity. “We were both doing the best we could with the tools we had.” That idea alone can soften something inside you.

We worry that they might not be okay because they miss us. We miss them terribly but they may  experience time very differently on the OS. We can spend years, even decades, after grieving their absence. They don’t have a chance to miss you. To them, it feels like mere moments have passed since they left. Your loved ones experience you as still very close, almost like you’re in the next room and accessible whenever they want to check in. They’re absolutely okay!

Where is the Other Side?

When you talk to your person on the OS, do you look up? I do sometimes. It’s natural to assume that they’re somewhere “up there”. Maybe location is the wrong question. When we ask “where,” we’re thinking in three-dimensional coordinates. Clouds. Sofa. Kitchen. Toronto.

Consciousness may not be bound by a body or geography. It may exist in a different layer of reality, interwoven with this one but not limited by it. I use a fan to describe the OS compared to us. When a fan is off, or even at the lowest speed, you can clearly see the blades. That’s us, the living. When the fan spins at top speed, the blades seem to disappear. The blades are still there. You just can’t perceive them the same way. That is how I think of the OS. They vibrate at a different speed or frequency than we do. We can’t usually see or hear them, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t around. 

While they’re not glued to you, they are still connected to you. They know when you think about them and talk about them. They may not be listening to every thought or conversation, but they seem aware of the emotional connection.

Talk to them like they can still hear you because they can. This is why I say, “You are never alone.”

Who are they with?

They’re with who they choose to be with. They reconnect with others who have passed. Not in a cliquey way. More like recognizing familiar energy. Think of running into someone at a shopping mall and instantly knowing, “There you are.”

They can connect with relatives they never met while living. Great-great-grandparents. Extended family. Old friends.

And yes, they’re with previous pets too. I know I said I wouldn’t get into that topic yet but re-connecting with pets is a big deal on the OS.

If they have a nasty ex-spouse or difficult sibling already there, they may interact with them too. Or they may simply acknowledge each other and move along. The sense I get is that there’s far less hostility and far more understanding about why things unfolded the way they did.

They don’t “live together” like roommates because the OS doesn’t appear to operate through physical structures the way Earth does. They exist around one another. They can gather in huge groups, spend time in smaller circles, or be alone. But they never seem lonely.

What are they doing?

Imagine being able to do the things you love without being limited by money, time, poor health, physical restrictions, or judgement from others. That’s what the OS feels like to me.

They continue exploring the things they loved while living. They may also experience things they wished they could have done while here.

Want to drive a Ferrari around Europe? Go ahead.Want to fly beside a magnificent eagle? Take flight.

I’ve done readings where a Spirit comes in smoking. They are usually the ones that loved smoking but had to quit. They often jokingly say something like, “It can’t kill me now.” 

Some spirits seem to have jobs but not in the traditional sense. They don’t punch a clock. They don’t get paid. It brings them payment in terms of fulfillment and purpose.

Spirit jobs often involve helping other Spirits. They’re not teaching your passed Grandmother how to flick your lights or make you smell her perfume. 

There are teachers, counsellors and guides. Growth doesn’t stop just because the body does.

Some Spirits also appear to help new Spirits review their lives if they choose to.

Not in a courtroom way. More like watching a documentary about yourself. “Ah. That’s why I reacted like that.” “That’s where I was scared.” “That’s where I could have acted better.”

There are Spirits who are doctors or healers. Wait. Why do you need doctors if you don’t have a body? The impression I get is that they work on ideas, healing, and advancements that can eventually inspire people on Earth. The challenge, unfortunately, is that humans still have to navigate politics, money, ego, and systems before those ideas can fully take hold.

There are likely many other roles on the OS, but those are the ones I hear about most often.

In terms we can understand, Earth feels a bit like school. The OS feels more like summer vacation.

What are they?

This sounds like a strange question, but it matters. They’re still themselves, just without a physical body. They are their consciousness. You may have also heard it referred to as their soul or energy.

When I see a spirit, they usually appear as a see-through human rather than a solid figure standing in front of me. Most often, I see them in my mind's eye. They’re wearing clothes and are usually young adults.I believe they present themselves this way partly so I can describe them to their loved ones. It may also simply be politeness. They seem to choose forms that feel recognizable and comfortable to us. 

Do they visit?

The idea that they are stuck watching you brush your teeth forever is not the vibe. When they check in on you, you may be brushing your teeth. They notice what’s happening, spend a moment with you, and carry on.

This is why during readings, Spirit will give me oddly specific details. I may tell someone, “Your Mom was with you yesterday. You tried on three bras before you settled on the blue one. Yes, it can get that specific. Mom isn’t being weird. She’s simply letting you know she still checks in. 

They don’t stay glued to you watching your every move. If that were true, showers and other naked activities would become deeply uncomfortable. So yes, if they happen to visit while you’re “doing it,” they probably see it. But they pay no attention to it whatsoever. Then off they go.

A Thought to Carry With You

Imagine the OS as a continuation of consciousness, freed from the constraints of biology, widening in understanding, loosening its grip on human irritations, expanding in compassion.

They may visit from time to time. They may not be hovering over your shoulder, but they are not erased either.

The bond you built does not depend on a body.

And perhaps the simplest way to picture the Other Side is that it’s not far away. Not gone. Just beyond the range of our current senses.

*This article is not intended to glorify being dead or make you wish you were there. It is meant to explain the OS as I understand it.

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You are never alone,

Lynn